Well, dear friends, and loyal readers…it is that blessed time of the year again. The Superbowl is upon us. And as falsified stories are passed around the intrawebs about Kurtis the stockboy, whilst all manner of chips get dunked into the infinite varieties of cheese and salsa dips…America and the world will briefly put aside their economic, spiritual, and soul starving woes to watch the epic struggle between good and evil play itself out on 1080p HD LCD screens bought at stores that no longer exist. Hooray!
But really, only a handful of people will actually be watching the game…the rest of us hooligans really only want to tune in for the wonderful adverts that crackle and flash across our screens. Most of them are pretty crappy…aren’t they, though? I’m always left with only one or two that i actually enjoy. So I thought to myself…hey, it’s been a slow week (newswise) in the band…why not make one of those wacky lists about MY favorite commercials??!!!
And here they are listed from 10 to 1…1 being the greatest.
10. Mean Joe Green Coke Commercial
One of the greatest, eh? No need for half naked ladies running amok. Just good ‘ol fashioned sentimentality…done well. I just remember wanting to be that kid that gets to hang out in the tunnel without security throwing me to the ground and tazing me.
9. The Original Geico Caveman
Afterwards they’d get slicker and more clever (the one in the restaurant was great)…and then they’d become parodies of themselves and then a tv show. ppphhhhht. But this one still makes me laugh…and is therefore, the best.
8. Nike Revolution
It was 1987. And the controversy over this ad was huge to me, cause I was still just discovering the Beatles. I was 14, but I knew (before watching the ad) that there was an uproar about the surviving members not wanting the ad to run with their song…and something about michael jackson and yoko…which made the thing just leap off the screen when i saw and mostly “HEARD” it.
7. Dr Angus for Burger King
When I first saw this ad i thought…finally a commercial with my sense of humor. ‘no, YOU’RE cheesy’.
6. Quizno’s
um, i still don’t know what those things are. But i think of them whenever i eat at quizno’s. Is that good advertising? The greatest my friend. the greatest there is or ever can be.
5. Jimmy Dean “Full Moon”
How did this relative ‘newcomer’ make it on this list? All out, foot to the metal Sarcasm. I love, love LOVE when the sun asks ‘you’re not feelin’ it, huh?’ and the moon says, “yeah… that’s what i said.” i could watch this thing 100 times in a row. Now you can too…thanks to al gore and these series of tubes.
4. Little Chocolate Donuts SNL
Ok, so this one isn’t real. But a wise man once said, just because it isn’t real doesn’t make it not true…or something like that…
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3. Connect Four
Pretty sneaky sis’. If you were around during this time…(and i realize most of you weren’t, and that is to your everlasting shame)…however, if you were then you know that it was a terrible era in which chili bowl haircuts and sneaky sisters were a widespread epidemic…and this commercial addressed that issue very succinctly.
2. Apple 1984
What? This isn’t number one you shout!? Calm down. I have your therapist’s number right here. You can call them in a second. Sure this one started the whole Superbowl ad craze thing…so it is important…and it still is a cool commercial but there can only be one greatest, and that prize goes to…
1. Flea Market Montgomery
Every ad agency would do well to see all new job applicants have a phd in this commercial. It is everything that commercials are supposed to be. It’s just like a mini mall. An apt description of our entire nation, no? Bask in it’s glory. I dream of a day when this is what we see on superbowl sunday. Till then, enjoy your celebrity endorsements…i’ll be chillin’ with my man Sammy Stephens. A true american hero.
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